Steven Yates 
May 5, 2013
Do YOU remember what dating was like in the 1900′s?
People always strive to fulfill their physiological need for love and affection. However, in the past 20 years, the idea of finding and keeping love has evolved quite drastically. In the 90s, the idea of finding love meant having a wonderful wife and children – a more traditional set-up, if you will. In present times, married life is often groomed to be better looking on the outside than how it really is between the man and wife. This is why it is always important to understand the importance of marriage and choosing your life partner before both of you take the plunge.
In these modern times, it is evident that the dating game has changed. People meet other people in random places like bars, parties and even public places like train stations and the like. It is entirely a different scenario from how it was during the 90s, where dating was taken a little more seriously and when chivalry was not dead. There was obvious romance and not some casual hook up like how most relationships nowadays are…
Is Technology To Blame?
Is it technology’s fault that we’re not dating in-person anymore?
In the 90s when mobile phones, beepers and internet connection were not as rampant and as accessible as today, romance was often seen in love letters, snail mail, real flowers and romantic dates. Now that everything can be done and be found on the world wide web. Messages, “cyber” gifts and Skype sessions can easily be carried out because of the web. Nowadays, people prefer talking online and seeing each other through webcams rather than having face-to-face conversations that are more intimate and can surely help in determining real signs of affection. The web has shown us where to meet girls – and took the bait! Technology also gives you a chance to lie about yourself without worrying about getting caught. You can create a fake profile, upload an old photo, mention the wrong age and even lie about the place you are from. In 1990s, most of the interactions were face-to-face and you didn’t have the time to come up with a fake story. On the other hand, it also allows you to do background checks on people before you get into a serious relationship. According to industry experts, more and more people use online resources as a tactic for where to meet girls; initial courtship has gone from in-person meeting to websites for meeting women like those available here) – and there’s no sign of it slowing down. Part of this is ease. It’s nice to know you can meet girls online from the comfort of your couch, instead of getting all dressed up and ending up with no phone numbers at the end of the night. Do not get me wrong, technology is helpful in a lot of ways. In fact, they have made our lives much easier than before but leaving everything up to technology is quite another thing. Technology may be our superhero when connecting with friends, family and lovers that are continents apart; but it should never define the relationship we all have with one another (i.e.: we’re friend on facebook only).
Gender Equality
Gender equality has shifted the balance of power in dating. It is a major contributing factor in the way we date today.
Gender equality has always been a great topic for debate during modern times. Looking back to the 90’s, dating was usually driven by men. It was rare that a woman goes up and introduces herself to someone she’s interested in rather they have to wait for someone to ask them out. But now that most if not all jobs can also be carried out by women, they have earned a voice and state their opinions, preferences and share the date expenses.
It is already common that a woman, whenever she feels like it, can come up to a man and introduce herself to her as a potential date. Of course, not all men would say they like this straight forwardness, found in modern women – but with these changing times, more traditional men should not only know where to meet girls but to accept with the changing tides as well.
Power In Numbers?
Back in the days, dating meant exclusivity. Obviously that is not how dating is defined now. Unless both of you agreed on dating exclusively, modern dating means not having to hinder either man or woman from going out and meeting other people. Surprisingly, a large fraction of people in their dating age is very okay with it. Most of them would say that this set up helps them to not waste time ending up with a person who is totally incompatible with them.
Attire
The idea of wearing something special to a date has also changed dramatically over the last 20 years. Earlier, one decided the location for a date when determining where to meet girls. This affected the choice of clothes that one would wear on a date. Dates were considered to be a more formal occasion in 1990s. However, people dress very casually these days. Men prefer to wear jeans and sneakers while women prefer wearing provocative clothes. Unlike 20 years ago, it is now acceptable for a girl to wear whatever she wants. Before, dates were usually a big event. Women visit the salon, while men try to look their best. Men often make reservations in restaurants making a date posses a feeling of formality. On the other hand, with the more informal setting brought to us by over familiarity with technology, dating couples can now be seen in a lot more laid back clothes and spontaneous meet ups. Unless it’s a debut, a wedding, prom date or a formal event it is already rare that we find men in tie or in a suit. Same drill goes for women, sometimes regardless of the occasion, men and women dress up in whatever they feel like wearing in that moment. This is very different when you talk about dressing up in the earlier times, men and women were always dressed “to the nines”.
Conversations During A Date
Conversations have changed too!
Equipped with gender equality and earning capacity, women’s confidence when having dating conversations have also evolved. Like men, they are also clear on what they prefer in a potential mate. Unlike the old times where women sometimes hesitated to ask about things that were considered sensitive (such as sex, money, marriage or a battle of opinions) women nowadays speak assertively and make sure that the message is relayed properly and often with conviction. They are no longer afraid to touch any topic they feel like talking about. Men and women also like to know about the religious and political views of their partners. This usually happens on the first date itself. However, such topics were actually avoided 20 years ago. Moreover, people also like to talk about their past sexual partners and sexual experiences. People also tend to take everything a little too casually, in my opinion. They don’t switch off their phones and may even text while speaking to the other person during the date. Unlike 20 years ago, it is quite difficult to get a person’s undivided attention on a date these days.
Sexuality
Human sexuality has changed as a result of our new types of interactions!
Men and women who are sexually active during their single years used to deny their deeds to no end, for fear of being branded as “loose” or “slutty”. In modern times, bed compatibility and not views and opinions that dictates if the relationship has a chance of making it. Non-virgins are no longer condemned by the society for giving it up before marriage. People in modern times are more broad-minded and accepting of the reality and changes brought about by expanded sexual freedoms.
While others are seemingly hesitant to accept these realities, a majority of them are slowly embracing these changes. Let’s face it, while some changes even helped us become better people there are also things that did not have a good result. Let us always remember that it is always up to us whether or not we choose to adapt to changes that will either improve or worsen us. Who knows – what we consider acceptable now maybe outdated in the next 20 or 30 years. What’s important is how we prepare ourselves for change.
